I bet you thought I wasn't going to remember my resolution to blog every day in January, huh?
Actually, I remembered only about an hour ago at dinner with some friends.
BUT HERE I AM!
Happy 2013, gang. Doesn't 2013 sound CRAZY? It does to me. I remember all the kaffufle when the year 2000 struck 13 years ago- I was 13 at the time... and now its 13 years later. What the WHAT!!
Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed your New Years celebrations. I had a great time hangin out with some dear friends ( shout out to Casey from http://theviewfromeastsouth.wordpress.com !). We had yummy snacks and drinks (beer and bacon jam?) , played one fantastic round of Cards Against Humanity, and when the clock struck midnight, smooched our loves
and watched the Disneyland fireworks, which you can see from our friend's home. It was a glorious evening and we had a blast.
Today, as we were driving back home, our friend Jeremy asked Jon and I what 2013 will hold for us. At first I wanted to think of some really profound and inspired answer... but then all I could mutter was,
"I don't know...I mean, I hope we end up here a year from now, able to say that we're better."
I think there's a lot of pressure at this time of year to create super noble goals and decide that within a certain amount of time we will lose the parts of ourselves that we hate and become the people we've always wanted to become. Somehow, when this date rolls around every year we want to change all the areas of our lives all at once. We hope that in the next 12 months we'll be the skinniest, nicest, most successful, responsible and charitable versions of ourselves.
However, the truth is that we DON'T know for sure what will come. All we can do is decide how to walk out our lives right..this... moment. We have no idea what will come from our families, jobs, from the world around us and our circumstances. We don't actually know who we'll be in a year, but we CAN decide to surrender ourselves in pieces within the tiny moments of each day. We can decide to forgive that person who we're upset with right now. We can decide to eat something that nourishes our bodies right now. True transformation and growth happens by making little baby choices in the directions we want to go.
So, on one hand, I think its tremendously important to think big about your life. By no means do I think one shouldn't set goals or desire big change... However, we can all stop putting pressure on ourselves to become everything we want to become as soon as the clock strikes 12 on New Years Day. Too many of us feel like crap about ourselves because we expect dramatic change in an unrealistic manner.
In conclusion,( mostly talking to myself, here) don't worry so much about who you'll be in a year... instead, take the time to live intentionally today. And be patient with yourself.... TRUE transformation isn't easy nor is it fast, and it most CERTAINLY doesn't occur without a little struggle and hard work. True transformation only happens by surrendering to the Divine....and we all know God has a different time table than we do. CAN A SISTA GET AN AMEN!?
So, if I could go back and re-answer Jeremy's question about what I hope 2013 will hold... I would have liked to have said that I hope that today I can live into the call that God has put on my life; That today I can make decisions that are healthy for me and for my marriage and relationships. I hope at the end of this year I know Jesus better. That I'm closer with Him and in turn more like Him than I am today...But that I really just hope I'm all those things more today than I was yesterday.
Phew. Here's to 2013.
Carly Escoto Calmes, the First